But with the fifth season premiere of “Project Runway” fast-approaching and Bravo having been uncharacteristically tight-lipped on the details, I faced a dilemma. I had urgent “Project Runway”-related questions, and I needed answers.

In such matters, I always turn to what I call the Triumverate of Infinite Wisdom: my Donna Martin Barbie, my Ichiro bobblehead and, of course, the aforementioned Tim Gunn doll. Donna Martin was too freaked out about the Shannen Doherty-returning-to-90210 rumors to be of much use. Ichiro still likes to pretend that he doesn’t speak English. So I asked Tim Gunn the doll whether I should call Tim Gunn the person, and he, agreeable as usual, nodded yes.

The phone rang and rang, and just when I was certain Tim Gunn had changed his number, an automated voice told me I had reached the voicemail box of Timothy Gunn. I left a rather long and rambling message, ended with “Auf Wiedersehen!” and hung up. Bravo doesn’t actually like it when you call up Tim Gunn without permission, so please don’t try this at home. Also, I was kidding about the auf Wiedersehen part.

The next morning, I got a call from Tim’s people. (OK, it was a Bravo publicist.) “Tim is locked up in production. We don’t wrap till super late on Sunday,” she said. “He got your message, and he said please tell her I’m so sorry I can’t call her back!” Surprisingly, she didn’t even sound mad. So I feel like the experience was not a total loss.

Meantime: Big changes ahead for “Project Runway” as it swaps networks, producers and coasts next season. Bravo: Out. Lifetime: In. New York: Partly Out. Los Angeles: Partly In. Most worrisome is the rumor that Bunim-Murray — the production company behind such lowbrow reality fare as “The Real World,” “The Bad Girls Club” and “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” — will be taking over behind the scenes. Sewing room: Out. Hot tub: In!

Speaking of bad ideas:

• “I Love Money”

Toastee explains why she wants to win the show’s $250,000 grand prize: “On Flavor of Love, I was perceived as the drunk porn star. ... I will spend the money on medical school.” Frankly, I think it’s a toss-up between her and Brandi C., who was disqualified from the money booth challenge for violating its one rule: picking up bills from the floor. Her excuse? “I didn’t realize the ground was so close.” I have ... no words. (9 p.m. Sundays, VH1)

• “Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood”

Tori plans an elaborate, monkey-themed first birthday party for son Liam. Apparently, this is a lot more stressful than it sounds: “There’s a chimp and an organ-grinder chimp. The organ-grinder chimp cannot view Suzie the Chimp or there will be a huge attack. So we have to plan to have the organ-grinder chimp out of the party so it doesn’t see Suzie the Chimp coming in, and then the chimp will come in approximately 15 minutes later.” In a weird piece of foreshadowing, the exact same scenario will pan out on the set of the new 90120 spin-off between Tori Spelling and Shannen Doherty. (10 p.m. Tuesdays, Oxygen)

• “Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List”

Kathy’s three assistants — Jessica, Tiffany and Tom — compare notes with Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak’s assistant, Julia. Tiffany: “We come in, and have Tom make us fresh juice or pancakes.” Jessica: “Then we talk about ‘The Bad Girls Club’ ... or we watch it.” Julia: “For work, I have five e-mail addresses, and I have three cell phones.” Team Griffin: 1. Team Woz: 0. (10 p.m. Thursdays, Bravo)

• “Flipping Out”

Jeff installs a nanny cam in the smoke alarm in order to spy on his employees, then plays back the video on his computer. It was kind of like watching a reality show within a reality show ... which just about blew my mind. That’s what happens when it’s summer and you watch too much of this stuff. (10 p.m. Tuesdays, Bravo)

• “Denise Richards: It’s Complicated”

Denise consults a pet psychic about one of her dogs, who eats poop. Pet psychic: “I’ve done a lot of research on that. I’ve come to the conclusion that they just like it.” I can’t decide who has it worse: Denise Richards, because she’s Denise Richards, or this pet psychic. Because that’s her job, to research why dogs eat poop. (10 p.m. Sundays, E!)

• “The Real World: Hollywood”

On the season finale, we catch up with former roommate Joey, who left the house to enter rehab. Joey is back at home in Chicago, wearing a hard hat at his job loading and unloading trucks. Whoa. That’s a little too “real world” for us. Turns out, in the real world, it snows. Take us back to Hollywood!

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