After much hand-wringing and teeth-gnashing and focus-grouping over what to call the new children's museum on Main Street - located in Rock Hill, in York County - this is what we came up with: Main Street Children's Museum.
No mention of Rock Hill or York County in the name. To a person from Chester or Charlotte, deciding after December whether to bring their kids there, the museum might as well be on Mars.
But this museum is on Main Street in Rock Hill. Which sits in York County. And the Museum of York County will run the place.
Sure, there was political concern over whether the name should include "Rock Hill," which forked over $450,000 of the $1.2 million total cost of this place, or "York County," which paid another $450,000. Donors gave another $300,000.
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Nobody wanted to offend anyone, or put anybody first or second - so you get neither.
Maybe Rock Hill has the only Main Street in York County. Wait, there's one in Fort Mill and another in Clover. And in Chester and Fort Lawn in Chester County. And in Lancaster in Lancaster County.
Other children's museums, if they don't have their locations in their names, at least try to have distinctive names.
Hilton Head, on the ocean where geezers live and the youngest person is 68, calls its children's museum The Sandbox.
Myrtle Beach has the Children's Museum of South Carolina.
Columbia has EdVenture.
Charlotte has Discovery Place.
Greenville has the Children's Museum of the Upstate.
Charleston has the Children's Museum of the Lowcountry.
We have ... the Main Street Children's Museum.
We have the Rock Hill-York County Airport. Where is it? Rock Hill, York County. The name tells you where to land.
Planes hopefully know enough to land there instead of just looking for a sign that says "Airport" and landing in a different county or state nearby - or on Main Street.
Museums, like airports or any other venture, need to market themselves and what they have to offer.
The name "Rock Hill-York County Airport" is important for that, said Mike Fitzgerald, general manager of Skytech, which operates the airport. It is inside the city limits, but both Rock Hill and York County help pay the bills.
"We try to market to a large audience around the country," Fitzgerald said. "It is important to have that descriptive place name at the airport."
We have the York County Convention and Visitor's Bureau. Where is it? Rock Hill, York County. The name tells you where to visit. It puts together a "Rock Hill/York County Visitors Guide."
At the Miss America pageant, they sure tell you where the ladies come from. I would imagine people would complain if a beefy Miss Ohio was confused with a slender Miss Mississippi.
The name that was a secret was announced Wednesday at a soiree for ChristmasVille, a Rock Hill event - the same day Rock Hill named its next city manager. The city shared little information about that process, too, and might have violated open meeting laws that expect city managers to be hired in public, watched by the public who pays their salaries.
Is somebody worried that terrorist plots will be aided if anybody finds out prospective museum names or city manager candidates?
Despite all the secrecy, it has been confirmed these museum names were apparently not considered:
Echolsville - In honor of Rock Hill Mayor Doug Echols, who defended not telling the public much of anything about choosing a city manager, either.
Cox and Sutton Smile Palace - In honor of York County Councilman Joe Cox and Rock Hill City Councilman Kevin Sutton, the two political people who had questioned building this museum in the first place. Cox was rewarded by getting walloped in the June primary and soon will lose his seat.
The Spigot - Rock Hill might turn off water to a neighborhood it wants to annex; county leaders have balked. Both could claim the high ground.
The DiGiorgio Center - No good because Winthrop University already had dibs on that name for its new student center, named for the current school president who has an office inside a building with his name all over it.
The actual final two names considered by the museum people: Main Street Children's Museum and Children's Museum on Main Street.
Some choice. Good thing the public wasn't involved.