When I was a younger man, I honestly enjoyed watching the political conventions. They were exciting and unique, and, best of all, they actually meant something in the grand scheme of our democracy.
Of course, that was a long time ago - back in the days before 24-hour cable news and hate radio spewed useless ignorance all day long. It was a time when neighbors actually spoke to each other, and there were only three channels on TV and they usually shut down after midnight.
Now, the conventions are pretty much just over-hyped wastes of time and energy. They're like four-day-long infomercials, bad awards shows and the Shopping Channel all rolled up together.
The only good thing about them that I can think of is that at least they preempt the woeful sitcoms and the nauseating reality shows that the commercial networks force on us these days. That programming is worse than liver, so I suppose by comparison, the conventions are a welcome relief.
As the Dems finish up this week in Denver and the Republicans ratchet up the rhetorical comebacks next week in Minnesota, I'll be turning more and more to my movie collection or to ESPN. At least I know I can find something worth watching there.
Speaking of turning off and tuning out, it didn't take long for John McCain's campaign to start hurling the mud, did it? As a good friend of mine likes to say, "they went ugly early."
And of course, the Obama people aren't just going to sit there and take it, so they had to respond in kind, and here we go again.
We're facing rising unemployment, a faltering economy, a healthcare crisis, security and energy issues, and what are the campaigns talking about? That's right; They're talking about where Obama went to grade school and whether or not McCain can remember how many houses he owns.
After this campaign is over, I've got a suggestion for how we can stop this never-ending cycle of babble from getting even more out of control. Instead of allowing campaigning to start two years prior to an election, let's make a law that no campaigning can take place until after Labor Day before the elections.
And to top it off, anyone missing a vote on the floor of Congress in order to attend a $2,000-a-plate fundraiser at a celebrity's house or a pre-planned photo opp is automatically disqualified and banished to Devil's Island for the duration of the race.
Now that is my idea of a perfect campaign season.