That Barack Hussein Obama is one shifty guy. Did you know he managed to win the Democratic nomination and might go on to win the presidency without once confessing the true nature of his genetic heritage?
Obama is an Arab!
Must be true, because that's what a couple of local residents claimed in letters they sent to The Herald.
"He is half white, which he rejects," states one letter writer. "The rest of him is mostly Arab, which he hides but is disclosed by his non-African Arabic surname and his Arabic first and middle names as a way to triply proclaim his Arabic parentage to people in Kenya."
Never miss a local story.
Pretty convincing. If his middle name is Hussein, he must be an Arab. Just like Muhammed Ali and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
Backtracking a bit, I found that this nonsense probably originated with Rush Limbaugh. No surprise there.
MediaMatters has reported that Limbaugh asserted on his radio show that Obama "has not one shred of African-American blood."
"He's Arab," Limbaugh continued. "You know, he's from Africa. He's from Arab parts of Africa. ... He's not African-American. The last thing that he is African-American."
Actually, he's from Hawaii. But don't confuse us with facts.
This is the oldest hack tactic in the world. Start a baseless rumor; get guileless people to believe it, and suddenly the victim is put in the position of having to disprove it: "You're not an Arab? Well, then, why not submit to a DNA test? What are you trying to hide?"
It's an endless river of slander.
Some researchers have gone to the trouble to discount the Obama/Arab rumor. They note that only about 1 percent of Kenya, home of Obama's father, is non-African, including Asians, Europeans and Arabs. Barack Obama Sr. was a member of the Luo tribe, which makes up about 13 percent of the total population and is African, not Arabic.
So, if Obama's father was an African and his mother was an American, doesn't it follow that their son is an African-American?
I realize that this rumor mongering is a craven attempt to paint Obama as "the other," someone so alien that he can't be trusted. It also can serve as cover for those who don't want to admit they won't vote for a black man for president.
You see, it's OK not to vote for a guy who's an Arab Muslim in disguise. Nothing racist about that.
What I would ask all these conspiracy flakes to do is take this fantasy to its illogical conclusion. Let's suppose that all the rumors are true, that Obama, who really is the son of an Arab, was brainwashed as a child in a Muslim madrassa in Indonesia, that he hid his secret identity as an Arabic Muslim throughout his formative years in Kansas, through high school, college, his years as a community organizer (or, if you prefer, communist), as a lawyer, professor, state senator, U.S. senator and now presidential candidate, and that somewhere along the line he was recruited as an undercover al Qaida operative.
OK, say all that's true. What happens next?
Perhaps, Obama will rise to be sworn in as president and say, "Hold on, I'm not going to swear on that Bible. Get me a Quran!"
Or maybe, like in the old "Mission Impossible" TV shows, he'll rip off a latex mask to reveal the smiling bearded visage of Osama bin Laden.
Or maybe, he'll make laws prohibiting the practice of Christianity, declaring this a Muslim nation. Then he'll turn all our nuclear secrets over to the terrorists. He'll make all American women wear burkas and cover their faces. Anyone who resists will be beheaded.
Hey, it could happen. But only in the minds of the credulous sheep who lap up Limbaugh's Kool-Aid every day.
By the way, did you know that when John McCain allegedly was in a Vietamese prison camp, he really was in Manchuria being personally trained as an undercover agent by Chairman Mao?