There were reporters (if you can call them that) who watched Saturday night's practice from the comfort of an enclosed press box at Wofford's Gibbs Stadium.
But you, gentle reader, you feel like family to me. And family deserves better than that. So here's what we discovered from the sidelines during the rain-soaked session.
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-- If anything happens to C Ryan Kalil, all plays from the shotgun formation will be stricken from the playbook. And maybe even if he stays healthy they should.
Backup pivot Mackenzy Bernadeau struggled with it Thursday night, and C Andrew Crummey fared no better Saturday. Crummey launched them high and wide of Jimmy Clausen and Tony Pike in a brief span, making you wonder why they even bother. Kalil had one that got away from Matt Moore, but it was at least within reach. Maybe you can blame the monsoon, or maybe it's just beyond these guys and the QBs should stay under center where they belong.
-- Players were having as much fun as they could. At one point, TE Jeff King did his best Rick Dempsey on the tarp impersonation, sliding on his belly across the slick end zone during individual drills.
-- No one really dazzled during the two-minute portion in wretched conditions (did I mention it was monsooning?), but there were a few moments.
A Moore-to-Brandon LaFell connection stood out, as did Jimmy Clausen stepping away from a rush to hit WR Armanti Edwards across the middle.
Moore's still the sharpest passer in camp by a considerable margin, but Clausen has a good sense of the pass-rush, and will step up into the pocket to make a play.
-- RB DeAngelo Williams had the night off to attend to a personal matter (nothing bad). But partner Jonathan Stewart took part in the individual drills for the second straight practice. Easy there, big fella.
-- CB Chris Gamble (knee) returned to the field. They know how important he is to this process, so they're taking care of him.
-- In case you were wondering, new LB Nic Harris is wearing 59. He's an athlete, who used to play safety in college before he outgrew it. Sound familiar? I'm not saying, just saying.
-- In indoor news, team officials said their Nov. 7 regular season game against New Orleans is sold out. Fewer than 1,500 tickets remain for Saturday's preseason game against the New York Jets.
That's roughly one per swear word by Rex Ryan, or half a ticket for every member of the traveling circus that's about to invade our fair city.
—- Darin Gantt