As 2009 skids to a close like the jet that cracked in half in Jamaica the other day, we thought it would be a good time to take stock of the year that was and suggest a few resolutions for some of the prominent newsmakers of the year that was.
First for Sen. Jim Demint, who is getting flack for holding up Pres. Barack Obama's selection for head of the TSA, a nominee who has bipartisan approval in both senatorial committees who weigh in on this particular appointment before the full Senate votes, we humbly suggest he resolve to try to play better with others.
Though he's become a darling to the hardcore conservatives, he has done little to advance anyone agenda, and seems more interested in being the cause of legislative gridlock.
For Gov. Mark Sanford we have a couple suggestions.
First we submit he should resolve to leave office, move to Argentina and elope with his soulmate. It would allow his wife Jenny Sanford to move on with her life without his name constantly popping up attached to some obstinate, and ultimately futile stand he's taking against the federal or state government. Also it would get him out of our hair so that the rest of our elected officials could attempt to get something else done.
If Sanford decides against our first suggestion we hope that perhaps he'll resolve to take a vow of silence for the rest of his tenure in public office. While the details of his courtsihp of Maria Belen Chapur may have been illuminating for some, the reality TV trainwreck that his affair turned into as he gabbed on and on about his soulmate did nothing to dignify South Carolina. At least we got a new phrase out of it – “hiking the Appalachain Trail” will undoubtedly live on long past anyone in the Sanford administration.
And speaking of reality TV trainwrecks, we would love to see cable channels like TLC resolve to stop exploiting ridiculously large families for profit. Jon and Kate's marriage may have gone down in flames but there are other families with more kids than they can count on their fingers waiting just around the next commercial break.
Next for Tiger Woods, we'd like to suggest he resolve to stop texting. A virtual paper trail is as damning as a hardcopy one these days. Actually more so, when paper records were all we had you could eventually, with enough dilligence and patience, destroy all the copies. Good luck getting rid of digital files though.
For Pres. Obama we'd like to suggest he resolve to stop trying to please everyone and get on with his agenda. He won a healthy majority of the vote in 2008, yet his primary goal, health care reform has been sputtering for months while he tries, without any success to woo Republican support. Now even many proponents of reform are disgusted with the bills Congress has produced.
Not many are happy with the climate agreement from Copenhagen either. In both cases the end product seems a watered down immitation of what is actually needed to accomplish the stated goals.
We wish everyone a Happy New Year, and hope 2010 turns out to be brighter for everyone than 2009 ended up.