Although my niece is just 8 years old, she insists that she's already a grown-up. On more than one occasion, she has demanded it, proclaimed it and darn near threw fits for the right to herald it.
Normally I'd agree with her considering that she's already smarter than I ever will be. She actually saves her money and, regardless of the weather, she always wears matching socks. But, in this case, I know for a fact that she's not a grown-up yet because of something she confessed to me at Easter dinner last weekend.
She doesn't like to take naps.
That right there proves it. She's no adult because no adult I know would ever pass up the chance for a nap. Personally, I can't even remember a time when naps meant little to me.
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No, the appreciation I have for naps definitely came after I actually had the time to take them. In fact, that has to be the very definition of adulthood: when given the opportunity, one would prefer nothing more than a nap.
What happened to Princess phones?
I finally broke down and changed cell phone providers recently. I would have kept going with the one I had, but I was nearing exhaustion from the weekly chats with the computer at their customer service center and the frustration of being dropped while on the phone with their people about why I keep getting dropped.
Based on the obscene amount of money it costs to buy a new phone these days, which of course you must do if you change providers, you would think that service would be getting better, not worse.
We'll see. I'm not encouraged, though, because my new phone comes preprogrammed to call customer service at the touch of a button.
4,000 and counting
A recent study found that only 28 percent of Americans could accurately say about how many soldiers have died in Iraq so far and the national news networks spend an average of just four minutes a week covering Iraq.
Apparently after five years of war, 4,000 dead Americans, 35,000 wounded and more than 1.5 million dead, wounded or displaced Iraqis, the national media has better things to do.
You guessed it. That same study found that networks dedicate nearly four times as much coverage to idiot celebrities like Britney, Paris and Anna-Nicole than to the war.
Just how the Pentagon likes it, I suspect.