It's so easy to tell when we're in an election year. If you live close enough to a capital city, chances are you can literally smell it as the level of - oh, well...let's call them "politician droppings" - increases dramatically as the year progresses.
It's kind of like how living next to a cattle farm becomes more aromatically apparent as the summer gets hotter.
Of course for most of us, just the number of times we shake our heads in disgust each day after reading about what our legislators have been up to is enough to remind us that the silly season is fully underway. But this year, it is especially evident that someone is sucking around for votes.
Our state is last in education, last in economic growth and first in poverty and unemployment and these are just some of the things that have actually made their way out of committee this session:
Illegal immigration boondoggle
Despite the fact that the courts have ruled time and time again that immigration is a federal concern, that doesn't stop our legislators from spending time and money on nonsense like requiring drivers and businesses to speak English - for no other reason than just so they can tell their bigoted constituents that they're working hard to keep "furr-ners" from sharing in the American Dream. It's hard to imagine these same idiots would be as fired up about immigration issues if the immigrants were from Switzerland, but I digress.
Drug testing for candidates
This bill originally started out requiring a drug test before someone could file for elected office, but surprise, surprise, that didn't fly and it got whittled down to "voluntary" testing that will be posted only if a candidate wants it posted.
Now that's funny. Of course, in my mind, it would be much more helpful to society to require intelligence tests rather than drug tests for potential elected officials. We should ask them stuff like: Have you ever had to actually pay rent?; How much does a gallon of milk cost?; When was the last time you actually pumped your own gas?
A compromise was reached just last week that frees up a bill that requires doctors to ask women if they want to see their ultrasound images before having an abortion. The compromise says women must wait at least one hour after the ultrasound before having the abortion.
What a precedent this sets. I would like to suggest a bill requiring that all citizens who cast votes for incumbent legislators must wait an hour before they can leave the booth so they have time to contemplate just exactly what they've done to society.
• Jeff Shrewsbury is a freelance writer living in Fort Mill. You can see an archive of his other opinion columns for the Fort Mill Times at his blog, jshrewsbury.blogspot.com, or you can e-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org.