Fort Mill Times

Gallimaufry - July 2, 2008

Jeff Shrewsbury is a freelance writer living in Fort Mill. See an archive of his other columns for the Fort Mill Times at his blog, www.shrewsbury. blogspot.com, or e-mail him at gallimaufry@ comporium.net
Jeff Shrewsbury is a freelance writer living in Fort Mill. See an archive of his other columns for the Fort Mill Times at his blog, www.shrewsbury. blogspot.com, or e-mail him at gallimaufry@ comporium.net

In many industries, there is well-established protocol that when someone costs the company money because of their own negligence, they are routinely required to pay those losses back out of their own paycheck.

So given that there were hundreds, if not thousands, of voices warning the Christian zealots in the state legislature that the "I Believe" license plates were a doomed idea, can I assume those responsible for getting the bill through the Statehouse and past the governor's desk will be cutting taxpayers a check soon? There should be a rebate on what we paid for the lawsuit that was filed within days of the passing of the license plate bill.

Just how many times must the courts rebuff these fundamentalists before they realize they can't make this into a Christian government?

Religion already plays too big of a role in our politics. The last thing we need is to start paying for it any more than we already do.

Speaking of fundamentalists

So now that the U.S. Supreme Court has decided that owning a firearm is a fundamental civil right on the order of the right to free speech and the right to a fair trial (oh wait, I almost forgot... that one doesn't count anymore), can I have my rocket launcher now?

Oh, and I'll also be needing that machine gun too...for...you know...deer season.

The High Court is on a roll

It was a busy week for the highest court of the land. Not only did the Supremes rule that every man, woman and child in America has the Constitutional right to own a gun, they also decided that Exxon was the real victim in the Valdez oil spill case.

According to court, the mammoth oil company that recently profited $46 billion in one quarter was victimized when the lower court ruled that it must pay $2.5 billion in restitution for killing hundreds of miles of coastline and wildlife and ruining the fishing grounds for thousands of Alaskan families.

Evidently, the graybeards on the bench figure $500 million was enough to teach them a lesson. Of course, that's only about 1 percent of Exxon's yearly profits but who's counting, right? Surely not the families who lost their livelihoods and now get a $15,000 settlement as compensation for the past 20 years.

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