Fort Mill Times

Gallimaufry - August 6, 2008

It's not hard to figure out why Hollywood executives love sequels so much. Movies aren't about creating art anymore, so when you drop $200 million into making a movie, you pretty much better be sure it's going to rake in the bucks or you're not going to be deciding what movies they make for long. And what's more of a sure thing than making a sequel to something that has already sold a bazillion tickets and had a lunch box and action figure available at Burger King?

OK, we get it.

But for crying out loud, how many more Batman movies are we going to have to endure? It's not like these are even sequels or prequels anymore. These are flat-out remakes of movies that haven't even been around long enough to be considered "old." At least Hollywood execs used to wait a few decades before recycling an idea. Now, they don't even try to find new ideas.

At least if they're going to keep reissuing Batman movies they could pick a cool one - like the one where the fake rubber shark grabs hold of Adam West's leg as he gets pulled from the ocean by that helicopter.

Now that was art.

Speaking of art and sharks

I'm not sure I really got the message of the political advertisement John McCain's crowd put out recently comparing Barack Obama to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears.

Are they trying to imply that Sen. Obama is like a skanky, stupid girl?

And does this mean McCain may want to meet on the playground after school to fight it out?

Sherlock Holmes would be proud

Federal authorities are now saying that because a suspect in the 2001 Anthrax mailing murders killed himself last week, the case will likely be closed.

Although no charges were ever filed against a former Army microbiologist after more than a year of investigation, the Feds claim they "were about to" indict him and were "closing in on him" with a pile of evidence, and that apparently led to his suicide.

Well how convenient is that?

That's got to be the most convenient suicide for government agents since that woman who ran the brothel in Washington, D.C., and claimed to have evidence that Dick Cheney was a loyal customer died suddenly in her mother's storage shed earlier this year.

• Jeff Shrewsbury is a freelance writer living in Fort Mill. You can see an archive of his columns for the Fort Mill Times at www.shrewsbury., or email gallimaufry@