Fort Mill Times

What’s your ‘love language?’

My sister drinks too much coffee with too much flavored creamer. I told her to stop, but she won’t listen. She winds herself up on sugar drenched caffeine concoctions then tries to lure me into complex conversations.

During the holidays, her chatter was about a book having to do with love languages. She hadn’t read the book, but it was clear she wanted to explain. So I asked, “What’s that mean, ‘love languages?’”

“Well,” she said excitedly, “it means that people show love in different ways.”

“What’s your love language?” I inquired.

“I’m a gifter,” she proclaimed. “I buy things for people. I give them things.”

She’d obviously thought about it. She was right. She’d give me anything. It’s nice having a big sister who’s a gifter, except when the gift is a temper tantrum. Or a complex conversation like the one she’d just lured me into. I couldn’t help but ask, “What’s my love language?”

After a moment of thought, she blurted it out. “You’re a nagger.”

“A what?” I shot back. “That’s not a love language!”

“It is for you,” she said.

“You nag people about what they should and shouldn’t do. ‘You drink too much coffee. You use too much creamer. Stop eating potato chips. Start exercising. Eat this. Don’t eat that.’ You’re always telling your husband what he should and shouldn’t eat. You nag people about being healthy. That’s how you show love.”

“But I don’t nag everybody,” I said in my defense.

“No, just the people you love. It’s your love language.”

This was intriguing. My husband was the next victim. First, we thought cooking. He loves to create and share meals. But then we realized, he loves to create and share anything – food, art, landscaping, even ideas. His love language is sharing his creations.

We concluded that our dad’s love language is food. He loves making food and sharing food. And we love when he makes pancakes. Our mom’s love language is caring. She cared for my grandfather, me, my sister, our hamsters, turtles, white mice, stray dogs and of course, she watches every move my dad makes.

Yes, people show love in different ways. But on Valentine’s Day, it’s usually the same: flowers, candy and hand-written sentiments. So without further ado, here’s something for you:

It may seem like nagging

But yes, it’s true,

Eat the whole box of candy

And woe is you!

Karen Tomas is a resident of Fort Mill. Email her at