Nobody has ever had the guts to make jokes about cops eating doughnuts to Rock Hill police officers Ray Murphy and Daniel Shealy.
The only difference between the two and the Andes mountains? The mountains are not armed.
“6-5,” Shealy replied when asked his height. Six feet, five inches.
Then some coward ducked after asking him how much he weighs, while holding a Krispy Kreme glazed doughnut. That coward was me.
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“’bout 300,” said Shealy. 300 pounds.
Murphy is also 6 feet 5 inches tall, he said, but, “I’m only 275 pounds.”
Murphy then licked his lips and stared at the dozen hot, glazed Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Murphy and Shealy each ate a doughnut. Then another. Nobody who wasn’t afraid to lose a finger went near the box.
Det. Keith Dugan – a shrimp at maybe 5 feet 11 inches and 175 pounds if you include his badge, gun and handcuffs – ate from another box. He ate four doughnuts and tried for five.
Later this week, those officers and others will stand on the roof of Rock Hill’s Krispy Kreme to raise money for Special Olympics. When they participate in a doughnut-eating contest against firefighters and others, the cliche of cops eating doughnuts really will be true.
The annual “Cops on Doughnut Shops” fundraiser raises money for South Carolina Special Olympics and the Area 11 games, which hosts athletes from York, Chester and Lancaster counties.
Krispy Kreme again is offering up the doughnuts and its building, and several other businesses have helped out with the benefit, said Det. Phil Tripp, the organizer from the Rock Hill Police Department. Officers from almost all area departments – many of whom are involved in the annual torch run for Special Olympics are helping out.
On Thursday and Friday, the cops will be on the roof from 6:30 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. On Saturday, they’ll be up there from 6:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.
The goal is to raise $20,000. Any donation would be appreciated, but folks who give $20 will be rewarded with a dozen doughnuts and a T-shirt.
Donations will be accepted inside the store and outside the store, and those who give can share as many cops-and-doughnuts jokes as they can – as long as Murphy and Shealy are on the roof and out of arm’s length.
New this year will be three doughnut-eating contests:
• Politicians, community leaders and others – including me – will compete at 2 p.m. Thursday.
• Police officers, firefighters and other emergency responders will compete at 2 p.m. Friday.
• A public contest will take place at 2 p.m. Saturday. You must register on-site by 1 p.m. Saturday.
For guys like Tripp and Dugan, Murphy and Shealy, the job is a tough grind most days. They deal with people who yell at them, fight with them, spit on them and worse. They help the public and arrest criminals. The job can show the meaner side of life.
So when the chance to eat doughnuts comes up – and a smile can be had for them and for the Special Olympics athletes they’re helping out – they take it.