Trying to legislate fashion is futile

Fashion rarely is driven by the twin demands of comfort and common sense. If it were, we never would have had bustles, corsets, neckties or tongue piercing.

And young people probably would not have taken up the habit of wearing pants that threaten to fall off at any moment.

But attempting to legislate fashion -- as S.C. state Sen. Robert Ford wants to do -- is a game for chumps. The prudish critics almost never succeed, and they always look foolish in trying to dictate fashion standards to the young, whose fashion sense primarily is dictated by how much it outrages adults.

In other words, the "responsible" adults who allow themselves to be outraged by youthful fashion excesses are doomed from the start and actually are playing into the hands of the perpetrators. The only sensible reaction to a revolting fashion trend is to grit one's teeth, wait awhile and, eventually it will go away ... only, of course, to be replaced by something equally or more revolting.

Sen. Ford, a Charleston Democrat and veteran of the civil rights movement, has proposed a state law that would ban pants that ride too low on the hip, revealing underwear or worse. Ford claims the style originated with prisoners who can't wear belts.

"If these guys want to look like prisoners, what's the next step?" Ford told The (Charleston) Post. "We, those of us who fought civil rights battles in the 1960s and early 1970s, anticipated wonderful things for African-Americans once we broke down a lot of barriers. This generation hasn't built upon anything."

That's a little harsh, especially considering that not only blacks but also a host of other young people of all races sport the low-hanging drawers. And as to his question about what the next step will be, I would say: tripping and falling down.

The baggy pants thing is inherently ridiculous. It can't be comfortable to be constantly on the brink of being pantless as you slouch around in public. Plus, there's all that material in the crotch of the pants that hangs down to about knee level and more material that piles up at the ankles. What are the aesthetics behind that?

Some ridiculous fashions at least had a purpose, even if it was mostly subliminal. Bustles and corsets, for example, were supposed to accentuate the ideal female figure -- busty, wasp-waisted and big and round in the rear.

I don't care to speculate about what baggy, low-hanging pants are supposed to suggest. The trend, however, has been around for some time, and there's hope it could be growing stale.

Fashion generally is determined by a combination of grass-roots innovation at the bottom and commerce at the top. The process is interactive. Some surfer in Malibu might decide baggy is out, and tight, calf-length pants are cool. Then his friends pick up on the style, and it starts to spread.

Meanwhile, fashion houses in New York get wind of the trend, and designers come out with a line of tight, calf-length pants that show up in chic magazines worn by celebrities. Cheaper versions are designed for Gap and Banana Republic, and pretty soon, all hip young people are wearing tight, calf-length pants -- and those wearing baggy, saggy pants are fashion pariahs.

Or something like that. If it were that easy to figure out how a fashion becomes trendy, I might be a billionaire clothing mogul.

But throughout time, those who wail about the influence of outlandish fashion statements believe in their hearts that this youthful experimentation can have only one result: the end of the world.

Ladies and gentlemen, be warned. This is serious! If young people are allowed to grow hair down to their shoulders, wear ratty blue jeans and tie-dyed shirts, shed their bras and listen to rock 'n' roll in a drug-induced fog, then, by george, the end of the world is nigh!

Oops, that was my generation. Luckily, the world pulled through, allowing all us aging revolutionaries to start wearing Dockers, boat shoes and knit shirts with the tails hanging out, or, for the women, pastel pant suits or sensible outfits featuring plenty of elastic.

All in the name of high fashion and good taste, of course.

The world is likely to survive baggy pants as well. Trying to legislate them out of existence is futile.

All we can do is hope they soon will become passé -- and then brace ourselves for the next fashion wave. Unisex flowered spandex jumpsuits, anyone?

This story was originally published August 22, 2008 at 12:58 AM with the headline "Trying to legislate fashion is futile."