‘Limited goodbyes’: Funeral homes cope with change, delays in the age of coronavirus.
Much of the news related to the coronavirus outbreak focuses on death toll. Yet, confirmed COVID-19 cases aren’t the only deaths impacted.
Widespread social distancing measures to cut down public gathering also affect final gatherings. Funeral homes in York, Lancaster and Chester counties still have families to serve. Some of those services look drastically different today than they did even weeks ago.
As of Monday afternoon COVID-19 only accounted for two tri-county deaths, both in York County. The statewide figure is 48 deaths. Yet the state also has more than 2,200 confirmed coronavirus cases. The tri-county area totals 152 cases. Rampant concern means closed churches, safety precautions, six feet of separation and other precautions that change how people pay final respects, and how an industry serves them.
Waiting on July
Hazel and Kay Cauthen run Wolfe Funeral Home in Fort Mill, and Lancaster Funeral Home. Kay Cauthen continues to monitor what Gov. Henry McMaster calls for in daily briefings, and industry recommendations to decide a course of service.
Most families right now opt for cremation, with plans for a full service later — July is a popular pick — when more people can attend. About 80% of the cremations right now aren’t buried, Cauthen said. There are still small, graveside services.
“At the cemetery, they say we can just practice safe distancing,” Cauthen said. “Most people are going with that for traditional funerals.”
Traditional burial doesn’t allow the flexibility cremation does. Most graveside services have about 25 people. Only 10 are allowed under the tent. There is no option, for families who choose traditional burial, to wait until July.
“With a traditional funeral, you have to go on with that service in a week’s time,” Cauthen said.
Wolfe hasn’t had visitations in several weeks. There is a viewing set for later this week, Cauthen said Tuesday morning.
“We’re going to have to count the people as they come in,” she said, “and just limit the people.”
The Fort Mill funeral home has hand sanitizer throughout. Employees stay home unless there is a death, and a family to serve. The home has just two full-time employees, so service changes haven’t threatened the bottom line yet. When employees do work, espeically with the deceased, they take safety precaution.
“We’ve got coveralls and masks,” Cauthen said. “They wear protective gear. We haven’t had a (coronavirus) case yet, but we are prepared. Thank goodness we haven’t had to go to that extreme yet.”
She recalls one decedent with many friends up north, who are unable to travel due to coronavirus restrictions. That service will happen this summer. Cauthen recalls other services already held, where few people came to pay respects.
“People are not coming to services, especially the elderly,” she said.
Despite the emotional nature of funerals, and the desire to honor often a long life lived, families understand these times are extraordinary.
“Most people understand,” Cauthen said. “I haven’t had anybody that did not understand. People are watching the news. They’re pretty well informed.”
‘Live’ funerals
Funerals denote death, but a growing number of final gatherings now tend to go live.
“A lot of them are doing that livestreaming,” said Charles Parker, owner of Parker Funeral Home in Rock Hill. “They go on Facebook Live and stream the service for people out of town. You get to see the funeral without being there.”
Otherwise, Parker said, options are limited.
“You can’t have funerals at churches, most of them,” he said. “Most everybody now is just having graveside services. You can’t just sit down and have a large funeral like you normally have.”
Many services only allow in 10 people at at time, chauffeured in and out to avoid large gathering. Parker said families get it.
“People, they understand,” he said. “They see the news report. They’re kind of respecting that. They’re adapting to it.”
Many families opt for a later memorial service, not just due to social distancing guidelines but out of self-concern.
“They’re looking at themselves for protection too,” Parker said. “You don’t know who’s got it.”
Parker hasn’t taken a hard hit on the business end from funeral changes. More families opt to take their own vehicles to the cemetery, and other smaller changes. There is still, however, work to be done.
“You’ve still got to have the hearse drive to the cemetery,” Parker said.
Coronavirus doesn’t impact how employees work with the deceased.
“In the funeral business, they teach you in school to use universal precaution,” Parker said. “Really you treat everybody the same.”
He hasn’t seen a major swing in the choices families make for their loved ones, like cremation compared to traditional burial. Parker encourages families who choose the traditional route to hold a viewing the day before the graveside service, so people can participate in smaller numbers at a time.
Families are willing to adjust, he said.
“You just have to tell them, because they see it every day,” Parker said. “Businesses have signs on the doors. It’s just different altogether now.”
In a way the largely unexpected, disruptive oncoming of COVID-19 mirrors the experience many families have when they face a death.
“They just want to get back to normal, as they can,” Parker said.
‘Limited goodbyes’
Barron Funeral Home in Chester dates back to 1908. It’s been through pandemic before, not that anyone there today recalls the Spanish flu a century ago.
“I was not there personally,” said manager Mike Shaffer. “But yes, that funeral home was there.”
COVID-19 is for practical purposes unprecedented at Barron.
“We’re having graveside services,” Shaffer said. “We’re limiting that to immediate family only. That’s what we have to do.”
There are no chapel services, visitations, church services. Those services are offered at a later date if families wish. The funeral home asks that only family members essential to the arrangement process come in to make them. Shaffer calls it a testament to his community that he hasn’t had a family complain.
“I am absolutely thankful to the community of Chester, how they have come alongside our funeral home,” Shaffer said. “I haven’t had a family yet that has really acted bad, said no that’s not what I want to do.”
It helps, he said, that many families understand a gathering could be problematic for the family members still living.
“Most families are saying, we don’t want to be at risk,” Shaffer said. “Let’s put it in the paper, let’s put in the notice, let’s put it online, but let’s have that service once that scare is over.”
A great majority of families served opt for the later date service. Shaffer has plans in the works for a rush of service requests this summer, or whenever social distancing guidelines lift.
Barron has extra staff safety precautions in place to handle potential coronavirus-related deaths. Yet those measures rank fairly low on the list of major adjustments.
“We try to take necessary precautions,” Shaffer said. “But we take precautions anyhow. We deal with other issues that cause death that to us are just as serious as this coronavirus.”
What is difficult for staff, he said, is an inability to serve families in times of grief, in the best ways possible.
“It is to a certain extent heartbreaking to a funeral director and funeral home staff that we’re not able to provide the normal service,” Shaffer said. “Families are saying limited goodbyes to their loved ones because we just can’t do what we would normally do.”
