‘She loved everybody’: Charlotte radio host at SC lunch speaks of mom’s dementia battle
Ramona Holloway tried for years to have an honest conversation with the world about her mom’s battle with dementia.
Holloway, co-host of the “Matt and Ramona” morning-radio show on Charlotte’s Mix 107.9, shared videos on Facebook — and later TikTok — of her mom’s struggles. Her mom, Louise Glover, also known as “Wheezy,” quickly became a social media sensation.
And before that, Glover was a regular part of the radio show. She had her own weekly segment, along with her own website, merchandise and sponsor, called “The World of Wheezy.”
After the years-long battle, Glover passed away in 2021. She was 81.
But Holloway isn’t done sharing her mom’s story.
“Some people thought it was very exploitative that I put videos on TikTok, Instagram and Facebook about my mom and funny moments in her dementia,” Holloway recently told The Herald. “I wanted people to know that there were those moments because while those moments aren’t all the time, every day, there is still something to live here for.
“There were moments of joy for both of us.”
Monday, Holloway spoke to dozens of caregivers about her mom — or her “absolute best friend.” Holloway was at Lily’s Bistro in Lake Wylie during a charity lunch for the Magnolia Memory Care, Inc. The York County nonprofit offers partial day and day programs, along with support groups, for caregivers of, and those suffering from, Alzheimer’s and other dementia-related illnesses.
“What will you always remember about Wheezy?” Susan Bill, founder and executive director of the nonprofit, asked Holloway.
She looked down.
“I’ll always remember the way she loved everybody,” Holloway said.
She held back tears.
For decades, Glover was a foreign language teacher.
“Her students weren’t just some kids she was teaching a language to,” Holloway continued. “They were people she was nurturing. She loved our family fiercely. She loved our neighbors fiercely. ... When she retired, she stopped teaching and refused to tutor unless you allowed her to tutor for free.”
‘Couldn’t write it off’
Holloway first noticed her mom’s diminishing memory through her words.
“When she started losing her words, that was heartbreaking because she could not pass up a pamphlet,” Holloway told the crowd. “Words were her life.”
Then, Glover started to forget her favorite foods.
“When we were in one of our favorite restaurants, she forgot her favorite dish,” Holloway said. “I said, ‘We’re going to have the same thing we always have, right?’ And when I told her what her favorite dish was, she was shocked.”
That’s when Holloway knew something was really wrong, she said.
“I knew I couldn’t write it off,” Holloway said. “I couldn’t just say ‘Maybe it’s this or maybe it’s that. Maybe it’s a bad day. Everybody forgets things sometimes.’ ... There’s that normal type of I’m doing too much and I forgot what I’m doing, and then there is dementia. They look different, but once you recognize it, then the work really begins.”
And while that work is hard, Holloway said there’s a humorous side that she tried to highlight.
“The humorous moments kept me going,” she said. “Everyone knows this is a hard journey, but how many people know that this can be a journey filled with very special memories that come out of nowhere? How many people know that sometimes our loved one can take on a completely different persona. My mom really believed that she was a young, hot, rich celebrity.”
The crowd laughed.
‘It was something worthwhile’
While Holloway, at one point, said she felt she had to take on her mom’s dementia alone, she reminded those at the lunch that they don’t.
“At one point, I believed that my life is simply over,” she said.
She said her faith kept her going.
“As my faith got deeper, I was able to understand that I wasn’t carrying the burden of care and that God was carrying me,” Holloway said. “I had to get out of, ‘How am I going to do this?’ I absolutely could not. For me, it was leaning on God and trusting that God would do it for us.”
Holloway said it’s important that caregivers turn to other family members, caregivers and programs, such as Magnolia Memory Care, for help.
“The more we share, the better off we are as a dementia community,” Holloway said. “I got some of my best ideas from people who’d already been there.”
And that’s what she’s hoping to do for others.
“I’m not going to pretend that caring for my mom wasn’t hard but doing what I’m doing now, talking to caregivers, makes me feel good because I can, in some way, help someone coming up behind me and maybe make it a little bit easier for them,” Holloway said. “That makes it feel like it was something worthwhile.”
Learn more
Those who want to learn more about how Magnolia Memory Care is helping those affected by dementia can go to the nonprofit’s website.
This story was originally published October 25, 2022 at 4:31 PM.
