Opinion: Take that, veggie lovers! Burgers are everywhere in Fort Mill now

I feel like Fort Mill is in a bit of a Renaissance period. For all of the bluster about red meat being a tool of the devil and being constantly bombarded with PSA’s on the benefits of kale, quinoa, flax seed and probiotics, the number of burger places that have popped up have taken us back to the age of hunting and gathering.

Without even counting the fast food fare of Burger King, Wendy’s, Hardee’s, Culver’s or Micky D’s, we have Hobo’s, Highway 55, Blacow, Burger Craft, and coming soon, a Smashburger.

Take that, veggie lovers!

With Richard Simmons becoming a recluse and no longer sweating with the oldies, and Bob Harper, the fitness trainer extraordinaire of “The Biggest Loser” having a heart attack, maybe stuffing ground beef covered in cheese and dripping with grease down our throats isn’t the only thing that’s going to kill us.

Fort Mill has thumbed its nose at greens and as far as I can tell, we’re loving it!

If you are really into ancient grains, I’m pretty sure each burger place has a “veggie burger” that’s just right for you, if eating a cardboard equivalent that tastes ancient is what you’ve been craving. But, much like going to a steak place and ordering the chicken fingers, you will inevitably be disappointed that you didn’t get the Bacon Monster that’s topped with applewood and cherrywood-smoked, and maple-cured fried strips and seven different cheeses, as you’re nibbling on the dull black bean and tofu disc on a whole wheat bun.

Live a bit (and that’s probably exactly what will happen)!

While I poke fun at the dietary effects of burgers, there is no doubt a decent amount of people who actually will complain about the ills of ground beef. But while I’m shortening my life by clogging arteries, I’m not sure those people are going to be enjoying their extra days on Earth by using it to lecture us meat gobblers. Like anything else, if you don’t want to eat it, don’t. I’m not barging into bars and smoking lounges screaming “Enjoy your liver and lung cancer!”

It seems like a little known fact these days, but there is a happy medium between going on a 30-day bender like the guy in “Supersize Me” did by slogging down three fast food meals a day and going vegan. It is completely possible to have a burger on Monday, and heck, chase it down with a couple of beers while you’re at it, and then having a salad on Tuesday, but that seems too much for some vocal brigades to comprehend.

Enjoy the return of the burger and eat local.

This story was originally published March 27, 2017 at 3:02 PM with the headline "Opinion: Take that, veggie lovers! Burgers are everywhere in Fort Mill now."