New school year without the stress

I saw you wandering the school supply aisle at Target the other day, with that glassy-eyed stare.

Yes, you.

We’ve all been there. It’s overwhelming, all those folders in different colors.

And did the teacher want the folders with pockets, or no pockets? Brads or no brads? And it says three Expo markers in bullet tip but all you can find is chisel tip!

School supply shopping can be stressful, but the school year doesn’t have to be.

With one kid entering middle school and one beginning her third-grade year, I’m starting to get this school thing pretty well under control now.

Are all of you middle school moms laughing at me, I have no idea what is getting ready to happen, do I?

For those of you approaching your first years as a school parent, here are a few things I’ve learned that have made our 180 school days a little easier:

▪  Set bedtimes back to “school hours” a week before school starts. It takes my younger child at least one week to get used to an earlier bedtime and wakeup. This helps prepare kids to be well rested on the first week of school, when they are already bound to be extra tired. Let’s be honest, this is mostly about self-preservation. You do not want to deal with a tired, grumpy kid.

▪  Expect 400 million papers to come home for you in the first week, and roughly half that for the remaining weeks of the school year. Figure out now how to deal with them in an organized way and follow that plan.

What works for me is if all papers go into my hands when the kids walk in the door, whether that is immediately after school, childcare, soccer practice or other activities. I sit down and deal with them right away, logging important dates into the calendar, filling out field trip slips, etc. If they aren’t dealt with immediately, they would go into a pile and be forgotten.

▪  Parents, prepare yourself now. You will lose or forget to sign at least one if not four things during the school year. You are not the first or last parent that has happened to and it does not mean you are disorganized or a failure.

Once, I signed up to provide cupcakes for a party at school. I diligently logged it into the calendar and then promptly forgot about it. Somehow, the day arrived and I was on my way to the dentist when epiphany struck and I remembered it was cupcake day.

I ran to the store and bought two dozen cupcakes (holy expense, Batman!), dropped them at the school, only to arrive home to an email from the teacher asking why I dropped off cupcakes two days earlier than I needed to.

Sometimes organization plans don’t work.

▪  Find a way to provide support to your child’s school. This doesn’t have to be the grand gesture people sometimes think it is. Room moms and dads are incredibly important, but not every parent has the time or abilities to be a room parent. Get in touch with your school PTO to learn more about ways to get involved. When thinking about providing support to your child’s school, don’t forget the power of something simple, like an encouraging email to the teacher or administration.

▪  Perhaps I’ll be branded the mean mom for this one, but when my children entered kindergarten I required them to buy school lunch. It was a great way to encourage them to try all of the cafeteria meals. We quickly discovered that while they preferred some meals over the others, there was always an option they could enjoy. This has saved me a lot of time I would have spent packing lunches, and the kids have discovered new foods they might not otherwise have tried. It’s also a great lesson in flexibility. If the school isn’t serving what was expected that day, your child will be prepared to roll with it.

▪  The school bus is pretty great. It took me years to let my kids ride the bus. Here’s why. (My parents love it when I tell this story.)

On the first day of school as a kindergartner, I got off the bus after school and walked in the wrong direction to go home. I ended up wandering around Tega Cay for quite some time, probably days, while strangers in cars tried to lure me in with candy (not really.)

Finally, a woman with a cute dog asked if she could please call my parents.

She assured me that she was harmless, because she had a cute dog. Her logic was sound, so I gave her my phone number and my parents came to rescue me.

As an adult, that memory stuck, and I was convinced my children would get lost getting off the bus. People, it just doesn’t happen. The drivers are amazing and the system is so very safe. I’m so grateful to our bus drivers in the district.

As the bells ring to let our precious snowflakes back into the schools, remember to give yourself and your kids some grace if you’re not quite yourselves in the first few weeks. Re-entry is hard on everyone.

Kindergartners in particular will need several months of adjustment as they learn to hold their behavior together for long periods of time, for the first time ever.

Make sure they get lots of rest, and remember that Christmas break is just around the corner.

This story was originally published July 28, 2015 at 5:01 PM with the headline "New school year without the stress."