We’re being ‘punk’d’ this election cycle! Here’s why

It is going to seem like an eternity until November rolls around.

I’m almost waiting for Ashton Kutcher to have a “Punk’d” reunion show in which he pulls a fast one on all of us. Think about it for a minute: It’s as if someone gathered all of the greatest minds in the world, tasked them with creating the least inspiring pair to head the two major party tickets for the office of U.S. President and they came up with the equivalent of solving cold fusion.

Yep, they nailed it.

What’s worse is, if America can’t find a viable third party candidate in an election season like this, I fear they never will.

You literally have two people with approval ratings in the 30s battling it out to lead the country. Over 70 percent of the people will vehemently dislike whomever finds a way to eke out a win. What a great way to kick off a new era.

It’s pathetic watching and listening to Democrats and Republicans try to muster up the excitement for their candidate. It is like watching “Celebrity Deathmatch” with the Bombastic Blowhard taking on the Incredible Liar, except this isn’t claymation. It’s live and in real time and I’ve gotten to the point where I just laugh.

During one part of the DNC, they actually had a montage that asked if America wanted to be run by a racist, aggressive bully, or if it wanted to elect a woman who has given her entire life to helping others, especially children. Are we really choosing between Stalin and Mother Theresa?

That’s how out of touch with reality this whole process has been. One candidate thinks he can build a wall and the other seeks a saintly, lasting legacy despite having scandal after scandal pop up. I keep hearing that this year is momentous because a woman is finally nominated for a major party run, but if I were female, I’d be more embarrassed than proud that this person is representing my gender. Just like I’m embarrassed that Trump represents my party. The Republicans lost the chance to walk away with the election by settling on possibly the worst candidate not named Cruz.

If this isn’t a joke, then we should all be ashamed.

The main thing we could take away from this year is that the two party system is broken. That even when the choices put in front of us reek, we are powerless to elect someone else. Essentially, we will be settling for the lesser of two evils. Do you pick the guy who might say or do anything, or the gal who will tell you what you want to hear and then do the opposite?

I have to believe there are a few fringe people who will vote party lines no matter what, but what I think is the reality is the classic lyric “Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am – stuck in the middle with you.”

This story was originally published August 1, 2016 at 5:51 PM with the headline "We’re being ‘punk’d’ this election cycle! Here’s why."