Ever thought of something you might do if you were elected president?
I’d start the Bank Of Nice. Every time someone performed an act of niceness, they’d record it at the Bank of Nice website and build up a Nice Savings Account. You know, like karma. Maybe there’s an app for that? Something like a Nice-O-Meter.
Once the Nice Savings Account reached a certain level, a check would be sent to the account holder, proving that it pays to be nice.
OK, so maybe you’re wondering, “How would she pull that off?”
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Well, everyday, every person in the U.S., kids included, could put in their two cents. It would only cost $7.30 per person, per year. That’s less than a week of Starbucks. With a current population of 322,762,018, that totals a whopping, annual deposit of $2.3 billion and change for the Bank of Nice.
Hey, I might be on to something here. How much is the national debt? Could this be the beginning of a solution? I’d go up five cents. That’s still less than $20 a year.
I figure the president can make up the difference; He or she doesn’t have to worry about the cost of health insurance. And they get to live in a big, white house rent-free.
So, I’m telling my husband all this and he says, “But still, each person would only receive $7.30 back from the bank.”
“Not everyone receives payments from the, Bank of Nice.” I reply.
“Only the nice people. Take Bad Chad from ‘The Bachelorette.’ No payments for him! He would totally be investigated if he recorded an act of niceness, as would, Cruella de Vil.”
“How would you know who is telling the truth?” My husband asked.
“Seriously? ” I answer. “I’d hire a few, nice ‘act checkers.’ And then, there’s always Big Brother.’”
Then, I pause. I realize, I don’t need to have all the details on the front end. Politicians never do. There’s all this talk of ideas, plans, and promises, then days go by, months pass and the years add up. Nothing happens and people are left feeling bamboozled. It’s like so much stuff was said, changed, twisted and promised, it’s impossible to remember the half of it.
One of the definitions for the word “politics” listed in the Webster’s New World Dictionary is “factional scheming for power and status within a group.”
Now, that’s not nice.
Karen Tomas is a resident of Fort Mill. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.