Our youths are struggling with mental health problems. Rock Hill region experts speak out
A Google search for Cheslie Kryst can lead you to an essay she wrote last year for Allure magazine close to her 30th birthday. Other search results likely detail her death a few months later.
Kryst, former Miss USA and Charlotte lawyer, died by suicide in late January.
In her essay, Kryst disclosed she wasn’t particularly excited to turn 30. She reflected on the societal pressure women, especially young ones, face to succeed, and to do it as soon as possible — sometimes even before it’s possible.
At 28, Kryst, who attended Fort Mill High School, was the oldest woman to be crowned Miss USA in 2019 — a title that only left her feeling more behind, she wrote.
“Turning 30 feels like a cold reminder that I’m running out of time to matter in society’s eyes — and it’s infuriating,” she wrote.
Kryst was a civil litigation attorney with three degrees. She had a fashion blog. She was an Emmy-nominated correspondent for Extra TV. She was Miss USA. She finished in the top 10 of the Miss Universe pageant.
But her long list of accomplishments didn’t make her immune to criticism and doubt, she wrote.
“I can’t tell you how many times I have deleted comments on my social media pages that had vomit emojis and insults telling me I wasn’t pretty enough to be Miss USA or that my muscular build was actually a ‘man body,’” she wrote.
Kryst’s essay was a bold reminder that an individual’s achievements do not determine their well-being.
“Far too many of us allow ourselves to be measured by a standard that some sternly refuse to challenge and others simply acquiesce to because fitting in and going with the flow is easier than rowing against the current,” Kryst wrote.
Since her death, The Herald has talked with four mental health professionals about the growing pressure on teenagers and young adults, and detailed the interviews in four articles that are now being published.
Dr. Brian Mika is a psychiatrist at Piedmont Medical Center in Rock Hill. Tamara Edrington is director of Catawba Mental Health Center through the South Carolina Department of Mental Health, which provides behavioral and psychiatric services throughout York, Lancaster and Chester counties. Rachel Shomate is the lead mental health counselor for the Fort Mill School District. Courtney Jones is a school social worker with almost two decades experience, with Clover School District.
The specialists discussed the effects of social media on mental health, how to seek help, warning signs and how high, and sometimes unrealistic, expectations can be harmful.
Popular kids and high achievers struggle too
Edrington calls them silent sufferers.
Young people who appear to have life figured out, who appear successful and happy, yet who still face anxiety, depression or other mental health challenges.
“You do overlook those children,” she said. “They are doing well in school. They are active proponents. They are socially involved.”
Many such students in a school setting need a check-in from friends more than anyone would see on the surface.
“They have such anxiety about being a high performer that any time they don’t make that A or don’t make that team, that may be a trigger for them,” Edrington said.
Mental health issues can show up in the student who acts out and misbehaves, experts say. Or it could be the student who quietly sleeps in the back of class. It also could be the popular, seemingly adjusted student.
“We do have students we’ve had to do suicide assessments on, and a lot of times if you would look at them, sometimes you would think they’re the prototypical student,” Jones said.
While a child who throws a tantrum gets immediate attention in school, a quiet child in the corner may face the same mental health issues and go unnoticed.
“We’ve got to be able to recognize that in that kid as well,” Shomate said. “The quiet kids are the ones that worry me the most, because everything is building inside.”
Sometimes high-achievers suffer in silence because they think they can, or are supposed to, work it out themselves, he said. Sometimes they aren’t used to asking for help, or don’t know how to get it.
Shomate said not all mental health cases look the same.
“You can still have underlying mental health conditions and be achieving,” Shomate said. “Your grades can still be high. You could have a great family life. You could have extra curriculars. And your anxiety could still be eating you alive.”
What mental health experts see in school children
Imagine a child afraid to even eat lunch.
“A lot of children were fearful of even going to school and bringing (COVID) back home, because they were being raised by elderly parents or grandparents,” Edrington said. “They were having that fear of, ‘will I make you sick if I go to school? If I take my mask off to eat lunch, am I going to bring that back home to you?’ And I can’t even imagine what that would feel like for a 7-year-old.”
Children also feel their parents’ stress.
“The children couldn’t go to school,” Edrington said. “That meant (the parents) couldn’t work.”
Edrington saw numerous pressure points for children in the early days of the pandemic. If parents went to work and left students home to attend virtual school, would someone call social services? Even when school returned, could parents get away from work for two weeks with no notice, for a student to quarantine?
“The isolation, the lack of socialization, that has been a driving factor for the children because at one point they weren’t in school,” Edrington said. “And then when they started going back to school it was every other day or every two days.”
Even prior to COVID, mental health services were a growing need in the region’s schools.
The total number of enrolled students roughly doubled in the nine years Shomate has been with Fort Mill schools. The number of mental health clinicians on staff jumped from two to 16.
Shomate said even with a return now to five-day, in-person school, there still have been isolations and quarantines.
“Teachers are still being quarantined,” she said. “Kids are out. We are getting phone calls at the last minute to go and get your child. The kids are disruptive. Their schedules aren’t set anymore. Just a lot of instability and unknowns.”
Children also absorb financial and familial conflict, along with social media and other pressures that give them a hard time, Shomate said.
“We are seeing increased anxiety and depression with students,” she said. “Since the pandemic we have doubled our risk assessments this year, which means that suicidal ideation is high, or higher than what it’s been in the past.”
Jones sees similar cases.
“The numbers have gone up,” he said. “It’s more like depression and anxiety. It’s all interrelated to family circumstances.”
It isn’t just students, experts say, but also school staff and families. Many students lost primary caregivers during the pandemic. Many adults lost parents or friends.
“One of the main things that we’ve had to adjust to is loss in its different facets,” Jones said. “Of course we know parents who have been lost to COVID by death, but there are other types of losses that families are dealing with.”
Stressers aren’t always linear.
Jones described a hypothetical where a family would lose employment at the start of the pandemic, regain employment, rely on a child tax credit or eviction moratorium for help until those programs end, and that would leave a family behind on rent. The trickle-down pressure to the students may come and go in waves.
“That anxiety increased when those levels of protection were taken away,” Jones said. “And we’re seeing those things come back up with parents, as well as students.”
Grief and uncertainty are high. Yet so is expectation on students and staff.
“The expectation to maintain the pace of learning that we had pre-COVID is still there,” Shomate said. “That hasn’t changed. Expectation on teachers hasn’t changed. In fact they’ve increased. Everybody feels that.”
An image vs reality
Social media also has altered certain stressors, said Mika, who has been with the Rock Hill hospital for more than a decade. People, especially teens and young adults, may feel more pressure to live up to certain ideals or expectations, he said.
“They might think, ‘Well, I have to post today that I did something great, like a picture of me on top of a mountain or a picture of me with somebody somewhere,’” Mika said. “They’re trying to present this ideal life and live up to what they think everybody else is presenting as an ideal life.”
Mika said it’s important to remember that what individuals post online is more likely what they wish their life was like.
“Sometimes it might be the cherry-picked moment that looks amazing,” he said.
Similar to the pandemic, Mika said social media can have some positive impacts on a person’s mental health.
“It can help people connect who may not have a natural group of support locally or nearby,” Mika said. “The other thing is our hospital is constantly getting referrals to treatment where we’re intervening before something happens.”
For those who may be worried or concerned about a family member’s or friend’s well being, social media can be something to keep an eye on, Mika said.
“What used to be a handwritten note that the world couldn’t see, nowadays sometimes allows people, if they’re looking and if they’re willing to do it, to be that person who helps someone out, to intervene,” Mika said.
Warning signs
There are certain warning signs to pay attention to in conversations, Mika said. A major one is if someone speaks about wanting to die, he said.
“Are they saying that ‘People would be better off without me’?” Mika said. “‘I’m a burden on everybody. I’m a burden on my family. I think they’d be better off if I wasn’t around. I’m sorry about being a burden.’
Other warning signs to listen for are whether someone speaks about experiencing unbearable emotional or physical pain, and is withdrawing or disengaging, Mika said.
