Colonel reveals his lifelong ‘secret’ in obituary. Now he can ‘forever rest in peace’
Col. Edward Thomas Ryan kept a “secret” close to him his entire life.
But before his death, the decorated U.S. Army veteran decided he didn’t want to die without revealing it to the world.
Now, he’s made his secret known in his obituary.
“I must tell you one more thing,” Ryan, who lived his whole life in Rensselaer, New York, outside of Albany, wrote in the June 8 obituary published by the Times Union newspaper.
“I was Gay all my life: thru grade school, thru High School, thru College, thru Life.”
In coming out as gay, Ryan went on to reveal something else.
He deeply loved one man, who he was in a relationship with for more than two decades.
“I was in a loving and caring relationship ...., (and) he was the love of my life. We had 25 great years together,” Ryan wrote. “(He) died in 1994 from a medical Procedure gone wrong. I’ll be buried next to (him).”
In his message, Ryan continued, saying: “I’m sorry for not having the courage to come out as Gay. I was afraid of being ostracized: by Family, Friends, and Co-Workers. Seeing how people like me were treated, I just could not do it.”
“Now that my secret is known, I’ll forever Rest in Peace.”
Ryan had five siblings and is survived by 14 nieces and nephews, his obituary says.
Described as a man of many talents, the retired colonel worked as a fireman in Rensselaer, he was a chef at the East Greenbush, American Legion Post #1231 and was a co-owner and founder of the Albany radio station WHRL-FM.
During his military service, he served with the Army’s 10th Brigade.
He received many awards, including the National Defense Service Medal and the Defense of Liberty Medal “for participation to the State following the attack on America, 11 September 2001,” his obituary says.
Ryan’s body will be donated to science at Albany Medical College’s Anatomical Gift Program, like he wanted, according to the obituary.
Afterward, “his body will be cremated, and his ashes returned,” the obituary says.
‘I applaud him for coming out as he did’
A private funeral for Ryan will be attended by his family and held in Albany, according to his obituary.
Then, his ashes will be buried in Kinderhook, about a 22-mile drive southeast from his funeral service, so he can be laid to rest next to the love of his life.
Several people, including those who knew Ryan, have commented underneath his online obituary.
“Rest easy, thank you for your service. I wish more would choose love over hate,” Denise Frantz wrote on June 11. “You should not have to hide your identity. Who are we to judge? RIP.”
Bill Reimann, who worked in the fire department with Ryan, commented on June 9, saying: “Rest in peace Ed….First of all I didn´t know that you were a Vietnam Veteran, and I thank you for service for that alone, but I also didn’t know that you were so actively post war activities after that, and again I applaud you. You were truly a good man.”
“Tom was a very good man and truly a good friend,” wrote Ryan’s friend, David Fenton, under his obituary. “I applaud him for coming out as he did. This is gay pride month, and his statement emphasizes that we still have a long way to go to be accepted.”
This story was originally published June 11, 2024 at 12:08 PM with the headline "Colonel reveals his lifelong ‘secret’ in obituary. Now he can ‘forever rest in peace’."
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