SC group helps parents deal with grief of murdered kids

“Tropicana or Minute Maid?”

Those were the last words Patricia Holiday ever heard her son utter.

Kemper Holiday said those words as he left the house the morning of Dec. 9, 2009, to buy his mother a carton of juice. He never made it back.

Less than 12 hours after leaving his mother, the 23-year-old aspiring musician was found dead inside a trailer less than three miles from his Rembert home.

Kemper Holiday was one of five people shot during a home invasion at a single-wide mobile home near the Kershaw County line. Investigators said more than 20 shots rang out during a botched robbery as two gunmen stormed into the residence demanding money. The two thieves – one of which was wounded during the robbery – made off with more than $5,000.

One of the gunmen shot Kemper Holiday at close range as he was bound and duct taped on the floor.

The devastation of having her youngest child snatched away so suddenly and in such a violent way is something that Patricia Holiday concedes she will never get over. But it’s a constant battle she grapples to get a grasp on every day.

“I thought I was going to lose my mind I really did,” she said tearfully while recently recalling the days and weeks following the fateful shooting. “You literally have to have something stronger than you, and that’s where my faith became a whole lot stronger. Because I knew that I needed God. Man could not do it.”

It’s been more than five years since Patricia Holiday lost her son, who she remembers as her best friend and favorite singing partner. And during the past several months, she’s had more than her faith to lean on in reconciling the pain of his murder.

Holiday began attending group sessions of a local organization last year. The support group – Parents of Murdered Children – serves as a national fraternity for family members and friends impacted by one of the thousands of homicides in the U.S. each year.

The Sumter County chapter of Parents of Murdered Children meets once a month to help each other grieve. The group is geared toward parents who have lost their children to violence and bills itself as a place where members “embrace each other through tears, silence, hugs, laughter and encouragement.”

“I know a lot of people don’t want to talk, don’t want to share their feelings,” said Maggie Richardson. “But the more you hold it in, sometimes the more bitter you become with the whole situation because you have not vented to anybody that has been or walked in those shoes.”

Richardson has walked in them for close to 15 years. Her 20-year-old son, Michael Ray Richardson, was killed during a shooting in 2000.

There are nearly 60 chapters of Parents of Murdered Children in cities and towns across the nation. Richardson founded the Sumter chapter last year to give bereaved parents a place to go to grieve confidentially with others who have or are experiencing the one-of-a-kind pain of losing a child to violence.

Ann Mack lost her 26-year-old son to gun violence at a birthday party in November 2012. She and Holiday serve as two of the three co-leaders for the group, which meets every third Tuesday of the month from 5:30 to 7 p.m. at the center. Mack said she gets more gratification these days through helping other grieving parents.

“I’ve gotten to the point now where I like reaching out to other people because I know how I felt,” she said. “Before we started this group in Sumter, I didn’t have anybody to turn to. And this type of situation will split up a family if you let it. If you’re not strong in your faith and strong in God, it will tear your family up.”

For Holiday, she’s witnessed the group grow from its first meeting and said the special link is the fact that each of the members share the common experience of losing a child, noting there’s no judgment in the emotions shared during the sessions as a result.

“I’m looking forward to us sharing what we’re sharing on the road to healing,” she said. “Even though I said I don’t think we’ll ever completely heal, I think there’s a step that you make toward it.”

This story was originally published March 29, 2015 at 12:37 AM with the headline "SC group helps parents deal with grief of murdered kids."