Letter to the editor for May 8

Words can cause low self-esteem

Low self-esteem; the death of self; the power of the spoken word – I coined that phrase while witnessing the destruction of a young woman who felt she had nothing to contribute due to her father’s constant criticism: “How stupid, you embarrass me, can’t you do anything right?”

Her lack of self developed to the point over several years that it eventually led to her taking her own life.

My father passed away at a very young age, leaving my mother. She met and married a physician, very skilled, who was devoted to four children from a previous marriage. They had a child who became very much a part of their life.

Sounds perfect, does it not?

Well, her father wanted perfection, and kept expressing his disappointment to her with degrading evaluation of every aspect of her life.

As for just a few: “How stupid!” “Your brothers and sisters would never have done that.” “Look at how you are dressed, you are an embarrassment to me!”

Yes, he was an educated gentleman. Yes, the power of the spoken word can destroy. I emphasize this gentleman’s background so that we are made aware that each one of us contributes to the pain of low self-esteem.

We do this by being irresponsible in expressing negative and degrading remarks to our loved ones. This can impact another human being and often results in irreversible damage to ego and self-esteem.

As harmful and painful as the spoken word can be, we can also be a part of the cure by realizing the damage we can do to so many by not being responsible in how we communicate. Each and every one of us has been unaware of how we can cause damage by our careless remarks and opinions.

I am writing this to hopefully impact everyone to realize how important it is to take what we express seriously and realize what an impact we have on our children, family and society by our spoken words.

We can do so much damage by not realizing we have been blessed to lift up others with love and respect. May we all think before we speak, realizing that the spoken word can destroy. Reach out with the positive! What an impact you can make.

Bonnie Jenks

Rock Hill

This story was originally published May 7, 2017 at 5:51 PM with the headline "Letter to the editor for May 8."