Ten good questions

I spent years asking my sons, "What did you learn at school today?" Often the answer was, "not much," and the conversation ended. Out of desperation to get them to talk, I would resort to, "Well, what did you have for lunch?" The answer was always "French fries."

Through the years, my colleagues and other parents have shared some questions that will keep the conversation going much longer and give a greater insight into what our children are thinking. Below is a list of questions you might try this year. Of course, you can rephrase these depending upon the age of your children and their individual interests. Follow-up questions about why or how we can do better may also keep the conversation alive.

• What hard question did you ask at school today?

• Who do you know who acts with integrity?

• What changes have happened lately in our family that help you with school?

• What do you think the world will be like in 20 years?

• How many hours of sleep do you think you need to perform at your best?

• What do you think is your greatest strength or talent?

• What nice thing did you do for someone today?

• Imagine you have achieved your most challenging goal. Can you describe it?

• What do you dream about?

• What is the nicest thing someone said to you lately?

Getting your children to talk to you can sometimes be frustrating but, ah, the moments when they share their thoughts and feelings! It is those moments when we have the greatest opportunity to guide and teach them. Educators call these moments being engaged! And, when we can get them engaged, our children learn, grow, connect, and thrive!

This story was originally published August 29, 2008 at 12:37 AM.