President Barack Obama has convinced me that our enemy in the Mideast is not a large, religiously motivated army, but just a few misguided zealots who have misinterpreted the peaceful doctrine of Islam. Therefore, I offer a solution that may defuse this volatile situation and bring peace to this troubled area, a simple solution for a simple misunderstanding.
President Obama should assemble a small but effective group of Americans to send as emissaries to the ISIS-controlled areas, each one possessing unique talents.
First, Michael Moore, the rotund film producer, who could set up a dialog with ISIS on all the different ways to hate America. When they see the contempt he feels for this country, they will realize they really are amateurs and their hatred is tepid compared to his. Hopefully, they will become discouraged and just slink away.
Second, Jane Fonda, another well known public figure, could model some of the more inventive suicide vests, showing her comity with the jihadists, forging new and lasting friendships, putting a friendly face on the supposed enemies.
Third, Aymen Mohyeldin, the NBC journalist who recently referred to Chris Kyle as a raciest who went out on “killing sprees” as an American sniper. Since Mohyeldin came to NBC from Al Jazeera, he would have instant credibility, and his debasing of America's armed forces would make him a trusted comrade.
Last, but not least, President Obama should personally lead this mission. No Secret Service, no military escorts. By eschewing this protection, he would demonstrate his confidence in his ability to bring reason and trust to any adversary.
His gesture of peace surely would be met with gratitude and be reciprocated by the newly enlightened jihadists, and we will have “peace in our time.”