Oreo skinny cookie competes with the original

It’s all psychology, but it works. Aren’t you ready right now to run out an buy a bag of skinny Oreos?

Of course you are! They’re new! And they’re Oreos!

Skinny Oreos – officially “Oreo Thins” – are scheduled to hit the supermarket shelves on Monday. While they are new to American cookie lovers, they have been tested in China, where they were introduced last year, reportedly with great success.

The slimmer Oreos are touted by the cookie’s parent company, Mondelez International, as a more “sophisticated” cookie than the original Oreo (which, by the way, remains far and away the most popular cookie in the world). The company explicitly states that Oreo Thins are not designed to be twisted apart and licked or dunked in milk.

Rather, they are designed to appeal to those who consume a cookie or two with their afternoon tea, presumably with their pinkies pointed skyward.

And while company spokespersons are careful not to call the new thinner Oreo a diet cookie, they do tout the fact that it is both 4 millimeters thinner and 7 calories lighter than the original. That means four of the slimmer cookies contain 140 calories, compared with 160 calories for three regular Oreos.

But this is another instance in which psychology plays an important role. And the math can be tricky if you’re staring at a fresh pack of Oreo Thins: “Let’s see, these thin cookies are about half the size of a normal Oreo. So, the way I figure it, I can eat eight of the tiny cookies for every regular Oreo I might have eaten.”

And think how sophisticated you’ll feel. You can listen to Sinatra singing Cole Porter tunes as you lie on the couch in your pajamas eating one skinny Oreo after another.

This new slimmer cookie seems designed to appeal largely to those interested in a little guilt avoidance when it comes to dessert. Wheras a 13-year-old boy will think nothing of eating an entire bag of Thick Stuff Oreos while playing video games, then, still hungry, raiding the pantry again, older folks aspiring to get a little skinnier themselves are likely to feel guilt pangs after the second or third regular Oreo.

So the cookie manufacturers are here to help, providing an easier path to self-delusion: “Why, these cookies are hardly bigger than a communion wafer. They can’t be fattening.”

My friend down at the liquor store offers another example. He says customers tell him their doctors ordered them to limit daily drinking to two glasses of wine.

“What’s the highest-proof wine you have in the store?” they ask. No doubt followed by: “And where can I get some really big glasses?”

We all know people whose normal diet consists mostly of cheeseburgers, pizza, doughnuts and soft drinks. But the day before their annual cholesterol test, they eat nothing but kale.

They’re trying to beat the test. But cheating does them no good.

Who are they trying to fool? God?

Speaking of whom, the Almighty must have had a hand in designing the original Oreo. It is the perfect cookie.

Any other version is superfluous. The Oreos with double the cream filling and the Oreos with weird flavors, such as watermelon or pumpkin pie, are mutant pretenders that should not share an aisle with the originals.

The new Oreo Thins, however, allegedly have the same proportion of cream to cookie as the originals although they are smaller. Therefore, once they’re in your mouth, they should taste exactly the same.

It’s just one more delusion. So, if it makes you feel sophisticated to eat smaller cookies, go ahead.

But dunk if you feel like it. The cookie police don’t have drones yet.

This story was originally published July 11, 2015 at 11:46 AM with the headline "Oreo skinny cookie competes with the original."