‘We did not know why’: Clover 15-year-old’s suicide brings focus to teenage struggles
There were no obvious warnings before 15-year-old Aidan Gaffney took his own life.
“We did not know why,” said Aidan’s great aunt Karen Savikas.
As a freshman at Clover High School, Aidan appeared happy and involved, Savikas said. She said Aidan’s family had not seen anything indicating Aidan was struggling.
On June 2, he was gone.
“Sometimes you will have signs and sometimes you won’t,” Savikas said.
Aidan’s mother now lives in Atlantic Beach, N.C., and lost property because of Hurricane Florence. Savikas said her niece is dealing with that damage, but wants others to know about Aidan.
He’s not the first 15-year-old in this region to commit suicide this year.
Clover High School student Malaki Prescott was 15 when he took his life on Jan. 29. Malaki had battled depression and mental illness for years, said Lynn Jones, his mother.
Aidan did not know Malaki, Savikas said.
September is National Suicide Prevention Month. Suicide was the second leading cause of death in 2016 for people ages 10-34, according to the Centers for Disease Control.
According to a 2017 youth risk behavior survey from the South Carolina Department of Education, 17 percent of high school students reported they had made a plan to kill themselves, and 15 percent of those have attempted suicide. In the same survey, students indicated bullying, fighting, feelings of sadness and hopelessness were some of the problems they face.
“That’s almost one in five students,” said Judy Rauppius with the local chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness. “That is very concerning that they feel (suicide) is an option.”
Teenagers are more susceptible to influence from peer opinions. That can make them more at risk for mental illness and suicidal thoughts, said Kristy Freeman, Piedmont Medical Center’s psychiatry director.
“They have less of a sense of self and are much more influenced by their peers and what their peers think of them,” Freeman said. “(Those opinions) can directly influence how you think and feel about yourself in a big way. Sometimes that peer group voice is louder to them than the adult voice around them.”
Suicide is not a one-cause issue, but is a result of risk factors like trauma, bullying or disease. Also, a teen’s perception of those challenges may lead them to consider suicide, said Alexandra Karydi, program director for the South Carolina Youth Suicide Prevention Initiative. The initiative is a federally-funded Department of Mental Health program designed to reduce suicide in youth and young adults 10-24 in South Carolina.
“All those things and how you perceive them could put you at risk of suicide,” Karydi said. “It depends on the person and how they perceive it.”
Parents should acknowledge if their child expresses feelings of anxiety, depression or other challenges, Rauppius said.
“Ask what they are going through,” she said. “Just being able to acknowledge it will probably help their anxiety and depression.”
The most important thing a parent can do for their child is talk to them. Ask if they are having suicidal thoughts or other challenges, Freeman said. She said it’s a myth that talking about suicide will put the idea in a person’s mind.
“Children are sometimes reluctant to talk, but the reality is they depend on an adult to be the one to help them. They are looking for some sort of assistance,” Freeman said.
NAMI recommends parents choose a time to talk when their child feels safe and comfortable. They also should slow down if the child becomes upset or confused, and listen openly to their child’s concerns. Don’t dismiss the child’s concerns or simply tell them “you’ll be fine.”
NAMI also recommends parents not ask “yes” and “no” questions, but ask for details on what is happening and how the child is feeling.
Evan Powers, 34, of Rock Hill said he wishes his parents had listened.
As a child, Powers suffered mental illness that led to hallucinations, paranoia and anxiety. Powers said his parents thought he was just being a child. Powers’ challenges continued into adulthood and led to substance abuse, a suicide attempt and self harm, medication and a stay in a psychiatric ward.
“I wish what I was saying to them would have been heard instead of ignored. It compounded a lot of stuff that I wouldn’t have had to go through,” Powers said. “If your children are telling you things, take them seriously.”
Powers now is going to therapy and is on medication for bipolar disorder and other mental health illnesses. He found help in resources like NAMI.
“I’m more than bipolar ... I’m a person who loves hockey, likes music,” Powers said. “If you do have mental illness, there is help out there.”
Parents also should note any changes their child may be going through, such as changes in mood or if they withdraw from friends, family and activities, said Courtney Jones, social worker for the Clover school district. Parents should take comments from their children seriously.
“Research says the more you are able to talk and get your child to open up, the more likely you are to save the individual’s life,” Jones said.
Savikas said Aidan’s death has affected her whole family, including her grandchildren, one of whom is going to therapy for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
“It destroys the family,” Savikas said.
The Clover school district, Savikas said, has helped Aidan’s family cope with the loss.
Resources in schools
Clover, like other school districts, has mental health providers on school campuses, Jones said. Parents can reach out to school counselors, administration or a social worker in their child’s district for help, he said.
“Pretty much everyone in a school building is going to be attentive and get the right information to the right person,” Jones said.
In York County schools, mental health providers from Catawba Community Mental Health are assigned to specific schools and are on call to address crises during school hours.
Local school districts, including Clover and Fort Mill, have adopted the South Carolina Youth Suicide Prevention Initiative, a school-based suicide prevention program. Karydi said the program teaches educators about warning signs, mental health care and how to address mental health issues appropriately and respectively. The program also works with parents, pediatricians, law enforcement and other agencies to help everyone understand their role in suicide prevention.
“It’s mobilizing communities around suicide care,” Karydi said. “You can build barriers to suicide in many ways.”
School personnel help students identify their protective factors, the environmental or personal characteristics that help protect a person from suicide, according to the prevention initiative. These can include academic achievement, family and friend relationships, and overall resilience.
“All of those play a key role in trying to prevent suicide within our kids,” Jones said.
Part of the prevention protocol is helping students adjust after missing school due to hospitalization or other challenges related to mental illness, said Karen Monahan, coordinator of psychological and related services for the Fort Mill school district.
“It’s a safety plan for them to be safe at school and help them get caught up in a supportive way so they aren’t at greater risk of being vulnerable again,” she said.
If there is a crisis, including a suicide, Fort Mill school personnel follow the PREPARE crisis response model from the National Association of School Psychologists, Monahan said. The model focuses on preventing and responding appropriately to psychological trauma and crises. The action taken depends on the individual’s needs, she said.
Schools are also focused on helping students build resiliency and coping strategies, Monahan said.
“So when life knocks them down, like it does to all of us, they have the tools they need to pick themselves up again and keep them going,” she said.
It’s also crucial for parents to address mental health with their children early on, Freeman said.
“Often people wait until it’s a crisis to feel like they have to do something,” she said. “Often I hear people say ‘I wish I had done something earlier.’”
By the numbers
Suicide is the second leading cause of death for people ages 15-34 years old in South Carolina
Nearly twice as many people die by suicide in South Carolina each year as homicide
Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S.
Half of all mental illness cases that last a lifetime begin at age 14
About half of students ages 14 or older with a mental health condition drop out of high school
Information from the South Carolina Youth Suicide Prevention Initiative and NAMI
Resources
- SC Youth Suicide Prevention Initiative: SCYSPI.org, 803-896-4740
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
- Crisis Text Line: Text TALK to 741741
Suicide Prevention Resource Center: sprc.org
National Alliance on Mental Illness: nami.org, 800-950-6264
This story was originally published September 28, 2018 at 11:58 AM.